I want to have your abortion
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
