**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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