i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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