OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Randomize
