she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
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He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
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She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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