remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
