somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
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If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
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I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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