I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
