Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
