I want to stick my p in your. b.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
