Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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