you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize