Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
you never un-have a 4some
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
