Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
bring money and cleavage
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
