Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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