What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
