why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
