I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
