she looked like the before picture.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
