Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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