whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Randomize
