Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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