Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
