i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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