good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
