I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
