so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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