My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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