i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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