I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Randomize
