in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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