Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
vagina is talking i cant
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
