I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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