I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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