I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
