You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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