ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize