Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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