She announced her abortion via fbk
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
