it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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