i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
