When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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