2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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