I am in a vortex of obligation.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
