Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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