Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
