i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You may now shotgun with the bride
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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