I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
