the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
