so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
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you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
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tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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