i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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