i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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