I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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