Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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