I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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