Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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