Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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