its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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