when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Fuck appropriateness.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Randomize
