It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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