...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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