first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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