Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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