fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
