You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
