After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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